My approach is not simply to support people to reach an agreement, but to support them to bring back trust, decency, respect and love – in other words, to support them to bring harmony back into their relationships. I do this by walking alongside parents (and their children if they are old enough to be physically present at mediation) to support them to find their own answers to their conflict/disputes. I feel this is much more empowering for people than simply being empathetic.
The following quote on the true meaning of harmony sums this up beautifully:
"Harmony isn’t necessarily something that we get to feel a lot of in this world, yet each of us knows it intimately and instantly. When we say aloud the word harmony, a vibration is felt that holds its true essence. We know harmony; we know it inside out, even if we don’t feel harmonious within ourselves or observe it in everyday life very much at all.
Many people have given up on harmony, settling for poor substitutes instead…keeping the peace...
Peacekeeping actually allows and supports disharmony, because the matter is only suppressed, not truly resolved. It happens in war but it plays out in our relationships as well; a tension, unrest, anger, frustration, rage and even violence and then… the moment when it is squashed, postponed to be dealt with again for another day. This is not harmony.
Harmony is a stillness within the body that allows you to express yourself in your fullness, without any compromise or fear of reprisal or judgement. Harmony is never without absolute responsibility and understanding."